Learning to be Content!

When I first visited my naturopath, Larry Rawden, one of the many things he checked was my cortisol level - an indication of my level of stress. It was extremely high and he talked to me about the things I thought might be causing it - something my oncologist never even looked at let alone discussed with me. 

I have since learned how important this level is because a high cortisol level means your body is constantly in fight or flight mode and you never really rest. It wears your body down and harms your immune system. 

So one of the things Dr. Rawden "prescribed" for me was memorizing scripture. He told me to learn it and review it and say it out loud every day. The scriptures were Joshua 1:8-9 and Philippians 4:6-13. 

I've tried to memorize scripture before and I know a few very short passages and where to find them - but I'm not very good at retaining them for long. And the trouble with memorizing them and then saying them out loud is that you start listening to what you're saying. Hmmmm.

The Joshua scripture is great. It ends with the promise that God will be with you wherever you go. That one is a source of comfort. But the Philippians scripture is full of things that I need to practice - not just say out loud.

Things like being anxious for nothing, dwelling only on things that are true and learning to be content in ALL circumstances. It kills me that I think I've got it bad and Paul is sitting in prison chained to a Roman guard and writing stuff like this! If he can learn contentment - surely I can.

Yet, I'm still struggling. I don't want any of you to think that I am some big, strong, super hero. I'm not. I'm still a work in progress. Since my last post, I have continued to stick to my diet - my exercise - my juicing - and my other healing regimens, but I haven't always done it with the attitude I wish I had. Obviously, I haven't learned contentment!

I think there is a great message in how Paul worded this statement. Contentment isn't a feeling you have, it is something you learn. It's easy when life is good and things are going your way. But when circumstances aren't what you wish they were - you are still content. That is so hard.

But I would be remiss if I didn't quote the verse that immediately follows contentment. "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

That is the secret. When I try to do all this in my strength, I invariably fail. When I remind myself that I am a child of God and have His Spirit in me - a spirit of love, power and self-control - I know that I can do all things through Him!

That's why, "I love you, O Lord, my strength."

Just google it if you don't believe me!

One in two men and one in three women will be diagnosed with cancer during their lifetime, according to the most recent American Cancer Society statistics.

If you're like me - you think you're the other one - the "lucky" one who won't. And so you go along in a fog when it comes to your health and the environment we're living in now. For me, ignorance was bliss - but it caught up with me. It will catch up with a lot (about half!) of you too.

Why? Why does it seem you know more and more people with cancer? Why is cancer the number one disease killing our children? Why are the rates rapidly increasing and there is still no cure?

The more research I've been led to do because of my diagnosis, the more I'm learning why this is happening. 

It's because of two basic reasons: we live in an extremely toxic world, and we don't fuel our bodies properly to be able to resist the toxins that are entering us every minute of every day. 

If you're like I was, you may be clueless regarding this toxicity. But our food czars - the ones designated to protect our food supply - actually allow big chemical companies to put RoundUp in the seeds that grow our crops so that the crops can be sprayed without being damaged. Our Congress debates whether or not pizza is a vegetable so that it can be part of the school lunch program. Our wheat is totally destroyed because of cross breeding to find a better, more efficient product than the one God originally designed. (Wonder why there is so much gluten intolerance these days?) Genetically modified foods are more and more abundant, and 70 to 90% of the stuff in our grocery stores is processed food, i.e. food not in its natural state.

And speaking of natural --- beware of foods labelled "natural." Did you know that the liquid from the anal gland of a beaver - called castoreum - is often used to create a "natural" raspberry and vanilla flavoring in foods and beverages! That's right...check that "vanilla" ice cream in your freezer. (Of course, Roger's first question is who in the world even thought of checking out the liquid from the anal gland of a beaver!) If you don't believe it, just google the word castoreum!

 I could go on and on, but I won't. We need to wake up!

Okay - so that's the stuff that maybe you can't do a lot about you think. So, what can you do? 

Look at what you are putting into your body. 

I have told lots of curious friends who are trying to "do better" because of what has happened to me that most of the gurus I have listened to say that we could make two big changes in our diets that would greatly reduce our chance of getting chronic disease. Read that again ---- not just reduce your risk of cancer, but reduce your risk of chronic disease!

Those two changes are: eliminate sugar from your diet and eliminate processed foods.

That's right; you don't have to be as radical as I'm having to be right now if you don't have a chronic disease. Shop the outside of the grocery store. Eat more clean - organic if possible - fruits and vegetables. Eat grass-fed meat or at least meat that hasn't been injected with hormones. 

Okay - so enough of my preaching for today. I said I was going to share this journey for the benefit of others, and that's what I'm attempting to do here. I don't want to preach, but if it helps make you more aware and a little more careful about what you're doing - then that's a good thing! 

Stay tuned. Who knows what I'll share next?!

And for those of you who haven't seen me in a while - I'm still doing great. Thanks for all the continued prayers. I couldn't do this in my own strength.

These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA. This blog is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease.

I love you, O Lord, my strength!

A Divine Wake Up Call!

I've been listening to an Integrated Health Systems Summit this past week titled "The Cure to Cancer." It has been enlightening and discouraging.

Enlightening because there are literally thousands of people around the world - including conventionally trained medical doctors - healing cancer using natural methods.

Discouraging in that the general public thinks we're all kooks!

My friend Kathy Hardin, who got me on this path, introduced me to a website that convinced me that this non-traditional way of healing was for me. She steered me to www.chrisbeatcancer.com. I would HIGHLY recommend that anyone with a cancer diagnosis go to this site. It is full of information from a consumer who isn't trying to sell anyone anything who healed himself ten years ago from stage IV colon cancer! The site is full of testimonials from people around the world who have  healed naturally. 

Chris Wark - of chrisbeatcancer.com - was interviewed this week during the summit and he said "Cancer is a Divine wake up call."

I have really pondered that a lot lately and have come to agree that it is. Most of us do not take care of ourselves. We don't get enough rest; we worry and stress; we don't exercise; and we don't properly fuel our bodies. Then we get sick and wonder why. Hence, the poster accompanying this blog. 

There is a God-given law of nature called reaping and sowing. If you plant corn, you're not going to reap green beans. We know that, but for some reason when it comes to our health we feel immune to the law --- sort of like we were in our 20s when we hadn't abused our bodies quite as much and we had an ample supply of enzymes and good cells and our liver and stomach weren't worn out from processing junk and everything seemed to be functioning well. 

For me, cancer has been a Divine wake up call. I wasn't taking care of myself, and I admit it. Since I turned my life around and started eating right and doing some exercising and letting go of the stress, I am re-vitalized! Really, I have a cancerous tumor in my body, and I have never felt better!

Cancer is a symptom - not a disease. It is a symptom that you have let your immune system get out of whack. We are fearfully and wonderfully made; our bodies are designed to heal themselves when properly maintained. And, I am healing!

We travelled to Alabama yesterday to see Dr. Rawdon. It's been 90 days since I started his protocol of eating raw, juicing and taking supplements. He was extremely pleased with my results. All my blood work is within normal ranges! Yay! There were a couple of items he wanted a little higher - like my Vitamin D level - but that was it. So, I'm scheduled to go back in 90 days for a follow up and then we'll look at doing a scan. 

In addition to a few tweaks in what I'm doing, he also said I could go from 100% raw to 90%. Yay! That means I can have a few cooked veggies now without feeling guilty.

So, I'm continuing on this path and praying that as I go I can share my testimony with others who may have a cancer diagnosis. Cancer is not to be feared; it is a call to change. Message me if you want to talk about it. And, thank you prayer warriors for all your faithful prayers. This has taken a lot of strength and I know that it is His strength working in me to do His good will!

I love you, O Lord, my strength!

Got Juice?

It's been a month since I've blogged, and several of you have asked how I'm doing and when I'm going to the doctor and am I still eating all raw and getting tired of it! 

So here's an update.

I'm doing great. I'm still jumping about 10 minutes every morning on the trampoline. I have a Mandisa play list that gets me pumped up and going strong. 

I'm still juicing every day and am continuing to turn orange in the process!

Yes - I'm still eating raw which means uncooked fruits and vegetables. Yes - I do get tired of it and yes I have cheated a few times. But - cheating for me is to bake a potato and eat it plain - or at least with "nutritional yeast" and no butter, etc. Or a few bites of baked organic black beans. I think I just crave a little something warm. But I have a basic eating routine down now. Breakfast is a fruit smoothie. Lunch is a big salad. And dinner is my homemade, dehydrated onion bread with avocado, tomato and sprouts. After drinking all that juice in addition to these meals, I'm rarely hungry for a snack. And, of course, I do still have my $6.99 raw chocolate candy bars!

I'm having blood work done this coming Monday and will go back to see the naturopath in Alabama on Monday, 9/15. I guess we'll know more about how I'm doing after that. 

In the meantime, I'm back to doing a little volunteer work and helping plan the annual CWJC Madison fundraiser. The event will be Thursday, September 18 from 6:30 to 8:00 in the gym at Madison Church of Christ. If you haven't been invited and want to come, let me know. I promise it will be a fun and uplifting evening. I'm always inspired by the stories of the women and men who have worked so hard to get their GED and am always thankful that I've gotten an opportunity to play a part in their transformation. 

Ferguson reaches day 100!

Today is day 100 for Dawn Ferguson on her new "raw" diet to heal cancer. We took this opportunity to interview her about her experience. 

Q: So, Dawn, tell us what you're eating?
A: Raw fruits and vegetables, nuts and seeds. 

Q: Are you eating any cooked vegetables?
A: No.

Q: Not even some beans or a baked potato?
A: My goal is to eat all raw...as in not cooked.

Q: Are you tired of eating just raw stuff?
A: Yes!

Q: Have you cheated?
A: Yes! But not much.

Q: How much have you cheated?
A: I've had two naked, baked potatoes. I've eaten about a half cup of cooked black beans and a little steamed broccoli. And I've had a few pieces of Ezekiel bread. Those are my only cheats in the past 100 days!

Q: What do you like the least about this diet?
A: Eating salads all the time and not being able to go out to eat.

Q: What do you like the most about this diet?
A: There's no wondering what I need to buy at the store to "fix" to eat.

Q: What about Roger?
A: What about him?

Q: What's he eating?
A: I'm still cooking for him!

Q: Isn't that hard?
A: Sometimes.

Q: Has he been supportive of your diet?
A: Most of the time. Except there was that one time when he told me to just put salad dressing on something I didn't like and eat it! He might have even told me to quit whining.

Q: Sounds like you're holding a grudge.
A: Moi? 

Q: What's in the picture up above?
A: My latest discovery. Raw onion bread.

Q: How do you make raw bread?
A: Well, you have to plan way in advance. This bread is made from ground sunflower seeds, ground flax seeds, onions, olive oil and coconut aminos. You mix all that together and then spread it on sheets in your dehydrator and "cook" it for 36 hours! 

Q: And how does it taste?
A: Considering I can't have baked bread and am tired of salads, it's delicious! Actually, it's not bad at all. I even look forward to dinner now.

Q: How much longer are you going to stick with this diet?
A: I go back to the naturopath in September so I'm sticking with it at least until then. I'm hoping he lets me add a little cooked food after that. 

Q: Then what?
A:  From all the research I've done, it appears I'll need to be doing this for about two years to get my body back into tip top shape and keep it cancer free.

Q: You think that will be hard?
A: Yes, I do. But the longer I do it and see how much more energetic I am, the easier I hope it gets.

Q: Well, congratulations for making it 100 days! Any final words you'd like to share with our readers?
A: Yes - thank you all so much for your support and your prayers! I love you guys! And "I love you, O Lord, my strength."

I missed church yesterday...

I missed church yesterday.         

Not because I wanted to, but because I was puny.

On Saturday - with no warning whatsoever - I woke up achy and not feeling too good. By mid-day, I had a temperature of 101. I stayed in bed all day (which is a clear indication that I'm not feeling good.)

It's been about 80 days since I did this very radical shift in my diet - going all raw. That detoxes your body as you go along, but you reach a point where it does something even greater to you. I think I reached that Saturday. I treated none of the symptoms. By mid-morning Sunday, it was gone. That means my immune system kicked in! Hallelujah!

My friend Kathy has already been through it and said it was like having a short episode of the flu. Bingo!

We live in a very toxic environment. In fact, the more I learn about it - the scarier it gets. 

Just consider your skin - the largest organ of your body. Our skin absorbs 60% of what we put on it. Look at your lotions, your soaps, your sunscreens, etc. Those chemicals you can't pronounce are getting into your blood stream!

We breathe in toxic air. We eat toxic food - food sprayed with pesticides - some food which has been genetically modified - some with Round Up to be resistant to weeds! Toxins are everywhere. There is no way to avoid them all. That's why it's important to do what you can to avoid as many as possible. (End of sermon.)

Back to missing church - I love my church family. Not just Madison Church of Christ, but all God's people. I have loved all the congregations I've been a member of - Hendersonville First United Methodist Church, Aurora Christian Church, Tulip Grove Baptist Church and many I haven't been a member of.

I don't go on Sunday and at other times during the week to get my card punched or because I have to or I'm supposed to. I go because I want to! I love being in fellowship with other Christians. 

When I am there, there are people all around me going through tough times - some much more difficult then what I'm dealing with right now. I get strength when I see them praising God amidst trials. That is raw, unadulterated faith.

Two weeks ago I prayed with a woman in our Benevolence Center. When I asked her what I could pray with her about, she said "my faith." The standard answer is generally finances, family, health issues, etc. I asked her what about her faith. She said she was losing it. Why? "Because I'm doing everything right and I'm having all kinds of problems."

Unfortunately, people sometimes seek God for what He can do for them. Some people call this the prosperity gospel - as long as you're good and do everything you're supposed to do - God will pour out blesses on you!

That is bad theology! And it's not the truth.

Jesus tells us that God causes the sun to shine on the good and the bad and likewise with the rain - it falls on the good and the bad. (And we need some of it to fall right now on all of us!) 

And thankfully, I'm glad the prosperity gospel isn't the way God works. I much prefer His mercy and His grace because if I had to live out His rules to be blessed, I would have been dead a long time ago!

It's day 83 of my raw diet. Next Monday, I'll be celebrating day 90. Can you say $8 raw chocolate bar here I come?

"I love you, O Lord, my strength."

Why raw food?

It's day 71 on this all raw diet, and I am starting to feel more 
energetic. I think my body has been in detox mode which has made me a little sluggish. 

I've had lots of friends ask me about what I'm doing and why is it so important to eat raw. Once food is heated above 108 to 115 degrees (there's some disagreement as to exactly where the heating point is) it starts losing enzymes, then nutrients, then minerals, etc. the more and more it's cooked. That's not to say that roasted broccoli is bad for you - just that raw broccoli is better. 

Cooking destroys enzymes, lessens the nutritional value (some say by as much as 80%!) and raises the acidity of the food. Cancer thrives in an acidic environment, so I am alkalinizing (if that's a word) my insides so it's not welcoming to cancer cells. 

The naturopath set my goal at 100% raw, and that's what I have pretty much stuck to. I did cheat two or three times and have a slice of Ezekiel Bread again, because the naturopath also told me not to stress out over meeting all my goals! So I'm not!

Roger and I took a field trip to Whole Foods yesterday and I actually found an all raw (meaning it's not been cooked above 118 degrees) organic chocolate bar! Yes - it was about half the size of a regular candy bar and cost $8.00 - but it was worth it! (On second thought, maybe that's why I'm feeling a little peppier!)

I have enjoyed watching and listening to some of you who are inspired to make some lifestyle changes because of what I'm sharing --- especially my sweet friend who shall remain nameless who is trying to give up her morning McDonald's sausage and biscuit! Some of you have told me you've gotten your juicers back out or you're eating at least one raw meal a day. Yay! My niece is visiting juice bars across the city and ordering Alabama zingers! Even Roger is eating a salad or two with me. 

I truly believe it is making a difference in me in a very positive way. For one thing, my skin pigmentation is a little oranger which means I can stay outside and get more natural Vitamin D. (If you don't believe me, just let me turn my palm up and compare it to yours.) I do have more energy. I stay full and I'm rarely hungry. My teeth are whiter (probably from not drinking any coffee.) And my silver hair appears to be getting darker. (Note: This is an anti-aging diet.) Roger is still waiting for the mental clarity which is supposed to be another side effect...bless his heart.

I watched an interview on youtube yesterday with Jack Lalane, the fitness guru who invented jumping jacks and lived to be 97. At the time of the interview, he was 95 and had just written a book on the importance of nutrition and exercise. His philosophy is "If man made it, don't eat it." 

To which Roger replied, "if woman made it, it's okay! Where's the fudge cake?"


My niece's 10-year-old daughter Kaitlin created the above artwork. She asked her parents for a canvas and then planned and painted this just for me. I've chosen to hang it in our kitchen for inspiration. While I love the front (pictured above), I love what she wrote on the back the most. In case the photo doesn't show up well, it says:

To: The person named
Dawn who will overcome
CANCER!

From: Kaitlin

Go Girl!

What a great motivation. You rock Kaitlin. Thanks.

"I love you O Lord, my strength."

I'm a Conehead consuming mass quantities!

It's been a tough week. I've been trying to stay positive, but honestly it's been hard to do. 

There are so many things I'm supposed to do on my list of daily goals that the naturopath gave me that I had to make myself a spread sheet because I couldn't remember if I had done such and such three times a day or just two. And he emphasized that these were just goals, not to stress about any of them. In fact, one of the scriptures he gave me to memorize starts with Philippians 4:6 --- Be anxious for nothing!

I thought about the Coneheads yesterday as I was preparing "mass quantities" of fruits and vegetables (pictured above) to consume for my daily allotment of juice. Roger thought that was funny and was going to photoshop a picture of me as a conehead consuming my juice for this blog! Guess you can just use your imagination for that one!

And for those of you who think I'm so amazing and missed the correction of my last blog...please note I have great difficulty converting ounces, quarts, pints and gallons. All those fruits and vegetables you see pictured above will equal a day's goal of 96 ounces in fresh juice. That is not three gallons as I stated in my last blog. It just seems like three gallons!

People keep asking me why juice...why not just eat those things...don't you need the fiber too?

As I understand it, juicing is THE most effective way to get all the nutrients, enzymes and minerals these foods have to offer. When the juice enters my body, the body is not required to break anything down - it's already broken down - so my internal enzymes don't have to work and can save their energy for doing other things in my body, like cleaning house and getting rid of cancer cells. And, I think I would die if I had to look at that pile and sit down to eat it all!

So what am I eating? That's another point of confusion with a lot of people. I am not just eating fruits and vegetables and nuts and seeds; I am eating all those things RAW - i.e. not cooked. I would kill for a plain ole baked potato right now. Raw is hard. There aren't too many places you can go out and join your friends for a meal of raw organic fruits and vegetables. And frankly, I'm tired of just eating salads. It's been about eight weeks on this diet, and I'm bored with it.

Why is raw important? Because any time we heat our food above 105 degrees or so we start killing the enzymes and other nutrients. I need my enzymes! Our cells are living things and they need living nutrients especially when we are fighting disease.

Obviously, what I am choosing to do as my option for healing is not for everybody. And I once again want to salute all the people who go the route of conventional medicine for treating cancer - chemo, radiation and surgery. That isn't easy either. The best thing we can all do is learn to take better care of ourselves. 

That's one of the reasons I wanted to share my journey through this blog. The National Cancer Institute says that one in every two men and one in every three women will be diagnosed with cancer at some point in their life! It's the second leading cause of death in the U.S. Heart disease is number one yet people don't seem to be so afraid of it. I think it's because there appears to be a lot that can be done for people with heart disease - stents, bypass surgeries, pacemakers, medicines, etc. Lots of things that are apparently saving lives. With cancer, the prognosis is a lot less sure. 

Because of my disease, I'm having to make a lot of radical lifestyle changes all at the same time. That's what is so hard for me. I can't just eat MORE raw fruits and vegetables, I have to eat ONLY raw fruits and vegetables. Maybe, you can just start taking better care of yourself by making one change. Choose to eat more raw fruits and vegetables. Choose to eliminate processed foods or sugar or dairy or white flour from your diet. Choose to exercise more. Choose to quit smoking. Choose to eliminate some of the stress in your life. Choose to go organic. I encourage you to do something to take control of your health. Don't wait until you have to make all the choices at the same time because your body is diseased. 

Once again, I appreciate all your prayers. It is amazing to me when people tell me they are remembering me every morning in prayer. I love my brothers and sisters in Christ. Without your support, I would be in the pits! And I am forever thanking God for you and for His strength which has girded me for this journey!

"I love you, O Lord, my strength."

A Zinger of a Prescription!

As I sit here updating my blog concerning my cancer journey, I'm drinking a delicious glass of Alabama Zinger! It's made with a beet, a lime, a piece of ginger and 12 apples. Delish!

Alabama you ask? 

Yep! Roger and I made a trip to Florence, Alabama yesterday to visit a naturopath who has had a lot of success helping people heal from cancer, arthritis, diabetes, and many other diseases by doing a computer analysis of the electricity flowing through their bodies and "prescribing" herbs, supplements, foods and lifestyle changes - all natural healing things - to help their bodies re-connect. (Yes, that is my rendition of what he told us in laymen's terms!)

I loved that the whole time he spent with us he quoted scripture and talked about our bodies being "fearfully and wonderfully" made which we totally concur with. And he spent about an hour-and-a-half with us which is much longer than the 10 minutes the oncologist gave me. Aside from a handshake, she never touched me or questioned me. This guy examined my skin, my nails, my hair, my eyes, the bottoms of my feet, my breathing, my oxygen level, etc.  He talked to me about my diet and asked about my work and what other stresses might have triggered this event in my body. Then he designed a program just for me and my needs. The oncologist gave me the exact same protocol she gives everyone else in my situation. There's just something wrong with that!

To boot, my insurance will reimburse her more than $400 for her office visit, but it won't pay a dime toward his $75 visit or the gas we used to drive two-and-a-half hours to visit him.

So why go all the way to Alabama? Because it is illegal to practice this kind of "healing" in Tennessee. In fact, you have to be real sure that you don't promise or say you can cure people when you're doing this no matter where you practice. 

Dr. Rawdon (yes - another great doctor name for someone who wants me to eat 100% raw!)  once was a pharmacist in Tennessee. He was diagnosed with a tumor in the late 80s and decided against conventional treatment so he started experimenting on himself. 

He discovered the Gerson diet - which has been around for quite some time and is 85% raw with some juicing - and used that for the base for what he developed for himself. He added herbs to what he was doing and eventually cured himself! 

After his success, he started helping other people in Tennessee - never promising to cure anyone. He had a lot of success and attracted a following of patients. But he had a client come to him with Stage IV pancreatic cancer after having exhausted all the conventional treatments. Rawdon started him on juicing and some supplements, but it was too late and the man died. His wife sued Dr. Rawdon and the Tennessee Board for Licensing Pharmacists fined him $1,000,000. So, he left Tennessee and who can blame him?

The tests he performed on me showed that aside from the cancer activity, I'm healthy! So my "prescription" includes eating 100% raw fruits and vegetables, nuts and seeds, taking several supplements - many designed to boost my immune system and fix the broken communication between some of my cells and others designed to detox my body - plenty of exercise, fresh air and sunshine, jumping on my trampoline for 10 minutes per day, meditating and keeping good thoughts flowing, increasing the good fats I'm eating and drinking three gallons of freshly squeezed juice! THREE GALLONS! That's my goal - but I'm not to get stressed if I don't make it every day.

I've only had one day to let all this sink in so I'm still processing it and trying to figure out my system for taking supplements and making and drinking juice. My Rx includes a gallon of straight carrot juice, a half gallon of apple, a half gallon of Alabama Zinger and a gallon of "Reboot" which is made from a variety of green stuff. 

The specific things I am to avoid are: gluten, sugar, milk products, meat, processed soy, MSG, aspartame, BHT and peanuts. Oh, and I get a high protein smoothie made with frozen pineapple, bananas, blueberries, almonds, cashews, avocado, dates, apple juice and hemp protein. Yum!

So if you go looking for me and can't find me I'm either at the store buying produce, in the kitchen juicing or blending or cleaning up, outside jumping and getting fresh air and sunshine or de-toxing!

Oh - and one more thing - Rawdon gave me some homework. Memorizing Joshua 1:8-9 and Philippians 4:6 - 13! They are both to help me have positive thoughts and to not be anxious about anything and to think about the things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent or praiseworthy!

"I love you, O Lord, my strength!"

40 Days and Holding!

It's day 41 of this new healthy regimen for me (but who's counting, right?!)

In the preface to Rick Warren's book The Purpose Driven Life, he says that 40 days is a spiritually significant time period. Whenever God wanted to prepare someone for His purposes, He took 40 days.

To cite just a few examples:
- Noah - 40 days of rain
- Moses - 40 days on Mt. Sinai
- the spies in the Promised Land - 40 days
- the city of Nineveh - 40 days to change
- Jesus - 40 days in the wilderness
- the disciples - with Jesus for 40 days after His resurrection

These were all days of transformation for the people involved. 

So what kind of transformation have I had? Well, I've lost about 12 pounds. I'm more energetic then I have been in a long time. I've increased my stamina for jumping on the trampoline from 7 minutes to 15. I feel great! And I'm thinking all this carrot juice may be making my eyesight better.

Supposedly, this is also an anti-aging diet! (The jury is still out on that one.) And, it's supposed to help my mental clarity. Roger is still waiting for that benefit to kick in!

Except for some Ezekiel bread - which is a bread made from sprouted grains - I have stuck to all raw fruits and vegetables and nuts and seeds for my diet --- except for one treat I allowed myself last week. I cooked some organic popcorn in coconut oil - the preferred healthy oil for us today. It smelled so good! But after two handfuls I thought I was going to be sick. : (

Sometimes I wonder if I will have to remain on this diet the rest of my life. Obviously, my body has adjusted or transformed to the change and is responding positively. So for now, I'm sticking with it. 

But I have to think back to the Israelites who ate manna for 40 years. I'm pretty sure I would be complaining too. In fact, I already have complained! (To which Roger responded: "Just put some of your dressing on it and eat it.")

I often find myself coming down hard on the Israelites. I don't understand how they could turn their back on God. How could they see a miracle and not give Him credit or not remember what He had done for them? I mean He parted the Red Sea and they crossed over on dry ground! But I do the exact same thing. 

I often find myself coming down hard on the Pharisees too. They were always keeping the rules and judging those who weren't. And if I'm not careful, I could easily turn into a Pharisee over this diet and my lifestyle changes. As I learn more and more about how we are poisoning ourselves with what we eat - mainly processed food and genetically modified meats and foods - I just want to scream! I want to tell young mothers to quit giving their kids all that sugar and those carbonated drinks. Cancer is now the number one killer of children in our country --- ahead of accidents! And, it's on its way to being the number one killer of adults because we aren't fueling our bodies appropriately and because our environment is so toxic.

So, please, if I start preaching to you, forgive me. Know that I do it out of love. 

I love something that Billy Graham said about this very thing. He said, it's God's job to judge, the Holy Spirit's job to convict and our job to love. 

I can try and make up my mind to not judge you and tell myself that I'm going to try harder and not judge people any more - but that is trying to operate in my own strength and I always fail. 

I believe the ONLY way to judge less is to love more! And that's my goal because "love covers a multitude of sins."

Thank you all for the outpouring of love through your emails, cards, notes, texts, Facebook comments, gifts, hugs and words. We are so blessed to have such a great group of family (some of whom are pictured above) and lots of friends. I love you all!

"I love you, O Lord, my strength."

Walking by Faith

Faith.

It's something we all live by. Every step we take is taken in faith. 

What makes us different is who or what we put our faith in. When I was younger, I put my faith in my parents and then when I became a little older - and oh so much wiser! - I started putting my faith in myself. Big mistake, because that just comes with all kinds of limitations. 

It's not until something happens to us that is beyond our control that I truly believe we learn to move from self-reliance to God-reliance. 

When Roger and I started dating, we hadn't known each other too long before we had a great discussion about our faith. We had both come through some difficult and trying times and we talked about how we had done that only by and with the grace of God. We both said that we believed we could go through anything because of our faith in Him. 

It was probably at that moment that I started realizing I loved Roger. (Of course, his dazzling wit and good looks had already tantalized me!) But this was the missing piece that sort of sealed the deal for me - finding someone who had a deep faith in the Lord.

People are asking us about how we can have such peace since my cancer diagnosis. We believe it's because of our faith. 

We both know that no matter what happens God is still sovereign. His Word tells me that my days are numbered in His book. He is sovereign over death and life. He is sovereign over every breath I draw. He knows the ending from the beginning. Believing Him as the sovereign Lord of all is THE most liberating feeling in the world. It makes me realize just how little is really dependent on me and what I do.

And when I take my last breath, I am comforted in knowing that I will be with Him forever because I have put my faith in Christ and His righteousness and what He has done that makes me righteous --- not my own righteousness. 

We are like the man who building a house, dug down deep and laid the foundation on rock. "When a flood came, the current struck that house but could not shake it, because it was well built." - Luke 6:48

Cancer has been that flood for us this year. But our foundation has been built on the rock, and we are unshaken!

For those of you who are wondering how I'm doing, I'm doing great. I am probably in better physical condition then I've been in for a long time. I am still eating my raw fruits and vegetables and starting to learn a little more about how to have some variety in all this. (Did you know that you can make taco "meat" from ground walnuts?) It's been four-and-a-half weeks on this regimen, and it's not easy. I'm still exercising - walking and jumping on my trampoline which is good for the lymph system - and keeping my stress level at an all time low! 

This Sunday, I'm starting a study of Judges in our Sunday School class. It truly is an amazing study of God's mercy and grace as His chosen people live as they see fit without a king and turn their back on God, and time and time again He delivers them! There is such hope for us!

"I love you, O Lord, my strength."

Reaping and Sowing

You reap what you sow.

That's a law of nature. A law of God. 

If you plant corn seeds, you'll get corn. Tomato plants yield tomatoes and on and on. 

Unless God intervenes and causes a miracle to occur, you will always reap the consequences of your choices. 

I've been told they know one thing about the cancer that is in my body. It is not genetic. That has caused me to stop and really examine my lifestyle for these past few years. 

For the past almost three years, I have become more sedentary. I've been sitting at a desk working on a computer and really not doing much physically to tax myself. I've also gotten progressively worse about what I eat. You may look at me and think I must be eating right because I'm not carrying excessive weight. But please don't judge the inside by looking at the outside!

My body has rebelled as a result of my choices. That's right - they have been my choices. 

The Bible says God is in the heaven and He does whatever pleases Him. (Psalm 115:3) And He allows us to do the very same thing - whatever we please. 

He has given us certain truths to live by and when we violate them, there are consequences. I don't believe God gave me cancer. I believe He gave me the freedom of choice to either take care of myself or not. I have sinned by abusing the perfectly good genetic structure that I have been blessed with. As a result, there is a tumor in my body. 

We are all fearfully and wonderfully made. The body is designed to take care of itself and to prevent disease IF given the proper fuel. 

This cancer in me is a wakeup call. An opportunity for me to turn my lifestyle around and to thank God once again for His mercy and grace.

That's why I've chosen the path to healing that I've chosen. If you think it's easier than drugs and surgery and I'm a big chicken sitting around doing nothing - you're wrong! For almost three weeks, I've eaten NOTHING BUT RAW FRUITS AND VEGETABLES, SEEDS and a couple of slices of Ezekiel bread. I've exercised and meditated and gotten sunshine and rest. I've juiced carrots and am pretty sure I will soon turn orange! I have totally turned my lifestyle around and it's not easy to make that many changes and stick with them all.

I also know that my body didn't get in the state that it is in overnight. It took time, and it is going to take time to turn it around. 

Yes, there will be lots of lessons learned as a result of this journey. The first one I have come to terms with and accepted is that you really do reap what you sow. Thank goodness I have faithfully sown to my Spirit!

And the picture? Well, I really didn't have an image for reaping and sowing, so I decided I would show off three of the reasons I am working hard at turning my life around!

"I love you, O Lord, my strength."

You may be right...I may be crazy! but...

They --- whoever "they" are --- say the longer you live with someone, the more you become like them. I married a goon, and he seems to be bringing the inner goon out in me as you can see from our Halloween 2013 escapade! And when I relay the path we are now walking on this journey of cancer, some of you are REALLY going to think we've lost our minds. 

But before I go there, I need to tell you a little about my past life. Some of you who know me well know the path I have walked.

In January, 2001, my first husband was diagnosed with colorectal cancer. He had surgery and six months of chemo and then received a diagnosis of "No evidence of disease." Six months later it reappeared in his liver and he fought it for about another year before he died in March 2003. Having watched all that he went through and knowing all that I went through in those two years, I really didn't want to take this path. 

This past Monday we met my oncologist. She was in the same building - Sarah Cannon Cancer Center - in the same offices/waiting rooms/treatment rooms/etc. - that I spent two years of my life in earlier. I hated being in that place. Roger said he had never seen me that down.

Don't get me wrong - the nurses, techs, receptionists, doctors - they were as nice as they could be all through my husband's ordeal. I just didn't like sitting there having all kinds of negative flashbacks. 

If I could have just gone around a room full of people and picked a doctor - not knowing anything about his/her skills - I might have picked my oncologist, Dr. Johanna Bendell. She is young, attractive, personable, and in any other type of meeting - she appears to be someone I could have a good time with. However, I didn't like anything she had to say to me about their plan of treatment for my disturbance.

Her recommendation is the placement of a port and a 24/7 pump that would keep chemo going through me for 6 weeks and radiation treatments during those 6 weeks as well. Then, 6 weeks for my body to recover...surgery (which my surgeon has already told me is going to be "very, very difficult")...and then 4 more months of chemo! I told her I didn't want to do that which pretty much took her by complete surprise. After I explained why I didn't, she suggested that they watch me and monitor my progress and do another scan in 2 months - to which I agreed. 

A dear friend of mine - Kathy Hardin - is fighting breast cancer the natural way and is winning! Hallelujah! She has shared with me two of the best, most uplifting resources someone in my position could ever want. The first is a website by a guy who beat colorectal cancer in 2004 - the site is chrisbeatcancer. The second is a book called "Radical Remission." There are thousands of documented cases of people who have made radical changes in their lifestyle and as a result have won this battle. Roger and I have decided that's the way we want to go - so we (mostly me - ha!) are making those lifestyle changes. 

I am eating 100% raw fruits and vegetables and have been for two weeks. I occasionally eat some Ezekiel Bread to break things up a bit. (Boy, do I every relate to the Israelites asking "manna again?") We have put in a reverse-osmosis water system for drinking and cooking. I have detoxed in a lot of different ways - fasting and massage therapy being the main ones so far. As soon as our new juicer is here, I'll be juicing carrot juice. I am exercising - either disco dancing in the house or jumping on our new trampoline outside! I have totally eliminated coffee - not because it was bad, but because I was drinking so much and I am now more aware of how it may have over-stimulated my nervous system. I have dropped most all of my responsibilities - except teaching Sunday School and singing on our praise team at church - two of the most uplifting things I do. I am taking some herbal supplements. And, I am meditating daily!

I actually feel better than I have in a long time. People are coming up to me and looking at me like "Didn't I hear you had cancer? You look good!" 

I truly believe that I am fearfully and wonderfully made by a loving God. The more I learn about the body as I research this thing - the more I realize just how true that is! I believe that by neglecting my body it has gotten into this mess. I further believe that by working really hard to reverse that it can be turned around.

There are thousands of cases where people have done it! I believe I can be another one!  

And please, those of you who have won this battle and done it through conventional medicine - more power to you! I personally know many of you and I admire you. Know that this decision wasn't made in haste. It was made after a lot of research and with much prayer. Trust me - it isn't easy to look a doctor in the face and say I'm not going to do it your way --- especially when it involves your life!

For those of you who have been praying for me - THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!  We have felt such a peace through this and ask that you will continue to pray for wisdom and healing. 

In the meantime - I've bought myself two months to enjoy as best I can focusing on me! I'm looking forward to having some fun. Who's game?

"I love you, O Lord, my strength." - Psalm 18:1

Love, Joy, Peace --- But Patience?

Be still. 

Wait. 

I have NEVER been accused of being a patient person. 

When it comes to the gift of the Spirit, I'm good at the get go...love, joy, peace...but I'm not too good with the patience!

A portion of the waiting is over.

We heard from the doctor last night. I have stage II rectal cancer. The good news - if there is any to be seen in it - is that there is no apparent evidence of a disturbance (my new word for what is going on in my body) anywhere else. We will meet with an oncologist some time this week for their recommended plan of treatment. I have been told all along that it will "probably" be 6 weeks of chemo and radiation to shrink the disturbance and then do surgery to remove it. 

If I were to try to put a positive spin on all this and say I'm just fine - I would be lying to you and to myself. And I've been reminded that lying is using negative energy and I don't need any negativity in my life right now. I want to be honest and straightforward. That's why I originally decided to write about this journey. I have cried. I have screamed. I have gotten angry and I have been insanely crazy at times during the past two weeks - cranked up my '70s disco music and danced! Talk about a roller coaster ride!

But I am settled and just fine with the love, joy and peace that I have. SO MANY friends and family have reached out, prayed, shown their concern and love - for that I am humbled and overwhelmed. I have a terrific support system and it would be so hard to take a journey like this without that kind of support. We REALLY DO need each other!

And I am loved by a goon who is constantly bringing me joy, who thinks it's funny that my doctor's name is Aston! (If I have to draw you a picture, you need some joy in your life!) And friends who teased me about one of my first blogs where I said I had been out doing "weed therapy" and "hoeing!" That makes me laugh just to write it!

And I have great peace all around me - in my home and outside my windows.

But mostly - all of this comes from within - from the one who has sealed me with His Holy Spirit. 

If I don't make it to patience and ultimately to self-control (I have focused a lot of energy in my life on other control!) - I'm okay. Because for today I do have love...I do have joy...and I do have Peace - the peace that passes all understanding. 

"I love you, O Lord, my strength." - Psalm 18:1

Life ain't fair and neither is God!

Life's not fair!

If it were, my friend Clay - shown here in the hospital - would not have been chopped up and sent to heaven piece by piece. My friend Matt would not have lost his baby sister in a drowning accident when we were all in the third grade. My friend Beth would not have buried her young son a couple of years ago. 

I would not have opened my email yesterday to find a prayer request for a 9 year old with an inoperable brain tumor.

My friend Kathy, who adopted a baby with spin-bifidia from the Ukraine, wouldn't be fighting cancer.

People wouldn't be starving or homeless. 

The women I have grown to know and love through CWJC would have had parents who loved them and supported them like mine did me. 

The rich wouldn't keep getting richer and the poor keep getting poorer.

I could go on and on.

I'm not a whiner by nature. I'm actually pretty optimistic. So just because cancer is growing in me right now, I'm not going to start whining. I just want to go on record saying life's not fair, and the sooner we all learn that, the better we will be able to cope with what comes at us. 

If I live my life believing I deserve this or that - good because I've been good - then I'm going to be greatly disappointed when things don't work out the way I think they should. 

So, why isn't life fair? I think it's because God's not fair. (Please keep reading!)

Jesus said God makes the sun to shine on the just and the unjust. And, He makes the rain to fall on the just and the unjust. (Someone else added the rain falls mostly on the just, because the unjust steals their umbrellas!) Therefore, we all get sunshine whether we deserve it or not, and we all get rain whether we deserve it or not.

I used to have problems with that verse because I wanted all sunshine. That was my idea of fair. But if that had happened, I would have been a spoiled, ungrateful brat!

Plants die without rain. Our souls need the rain to grow. And my greatest growth spurts have always occurred in the midst of the fiercest storms in my life.

The other reason I don't believe God is fair...His mercy and His grace! There have been plenty of times in my life that I should have been punished and He was merciful. He didn't give me what I know I deserved. 

And, there have been lots of times in my life when I have been given great things that I didn't do anything to deserve. He showered  me with sunshine through His grace.

I am blessed! I am redeemed! I've been adopted, and I am His child! I'm sealed with His Holy Spirit. As Paul said, if God doesn't do any thing else for me - He's already done so much more than I deserve.

I am so thankful for His mercy and His grace!

"I love you, O Lord, my strength." - Psalm 18:1 

I married a goon!

A joyful heart is good medicine" - Proverbs 17:22

If laughter truly is the best medicine, then I of all people should not have a cancer diagnosis. I mean...I married a goon!

Actually, that's one of the reasons I did marry him. Who could resist? I like to laugh. It's good for your immune system. Research shows it boosts your energy and protects you from stress. Ha! I should be well protected. 

One website actually said "Add chuckling to your illness prevention plan." Well - there is no shortage of chuckling at our house even though I didn't intentionally add it to my illness prevention plan.

We met with the doctor today. For those of you praying for me - many, many thanks. I go for testing bright and early this Friday morning (4/25). Please pray the cancer is contained. That being the case, I get off with surgery and no chemo/radiation. 

I am so blessed to have so many who love me and are praying for me. Thank you, thank you, thank you! And for all of you who are keeping me laughing - many thanks.

"I love you, O Lord, my strength." - Psalm 18:1

 

Live in a way that demands explanation!

I don't know who said this, but I've written in the front of my Bible "We need to live our lives in a way that demands explanation."

And that's how I want to live and how I want to take this detour I'm on right now. 

Peter says "Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have." - I Peter 3:15

If I'm supposed to be prepared to give an answer...that means somebody has got to ask me a question. And, I figure I need to look different or act different if someone is going to ask me what's my reason for the hope I have - especially right now! And then in gentleness and respect, I can tell them that "my hope is built on nothing less than Jesus' blood and righteousness."

I had a great day with my Madison family and my Kemp/Earhart/England/Shelby/Anderson/McDermott/Ferguson families today! Thank you for all the prayers and love that you all have surrounded me with. I really am at peace! I have my first consultation in the morning and will know more about what lies ahead this week.

And the photo...that's Rosey and me in "my friend Karlen's" garden. That's how I spent a good part of my morning yesterday - in weed therapy...hoeing!

"I love you, O Lord, my strength." - Psalm 18:1