Wait.
I have NEVER been accused of being a patient person.
When it comes to the gift of the Spirit, I'm good at the get go...love, joy, peace...but I'm not too good with the patience!
A portion of the waiting is over.
We heard from the doctor last night. I have stage II rectal cancer. The good news - if there is any to be seen in it - is that there is no apparent evidence of a disturbance (my new word for what is going on in my body) anywhere else. We will meet with an oncologist some time this week for their recommended plan of treatment. I have been told all along that it will "probably" be 6 weeks of chemo and radiation to shrink the disturbance and then do surgery to remove it.
If I were to try to put a positive spin on all this and say I'm just fine - I would be lying to you and to myself. And I've been reminded that lying is using negative energy and I don't need any negativity in my life right now. I want to be honest and straightforward. That's why I originally decided to write about this journey. I have cried. I have screamed. I have gotten angry and I have been insanely crazy at times during the past two weeks - cranked up my '70s disco music and danced! Talk about a roller coaster ride!
But I am settled and just fine with the love, joy and peace that I have. SO MANY friends and family have reached out, prayed, shown their concern and love - for that I am humbled and overwhelmed. I have a terrific support system and it would be so hard to take a journey like this without that kind of support. We REALLY DO need each other!
And I am loved by a goon who is constantly bringing me joy, who thinks it's funny that my doctor's name is Aston! (If I have to draw you a picture, you need some joy in your life!) And friends who teased me about one of my first blogs where I said I had been out doing "weed therapy" and "hoeing!" That makes me laugh just to write it!
And I have great peace all around me - in my home and outside my windows.
But mostly - all of this comes from within - from the one who has sealed me with His Holy Spirit.
If I don't make it to patience and ultimately to self-control (I have focused a lot of energy in my life on other control!) - I'm okay. Because for today I do have love...I do have joy...and I do have Peace - the peace that passes all understanding.
"I love you, O Lord, my strength." - Psalm 18:1
Thank you for sharing! I will continue to pray for you. I know its a tough battle. I am a ten year survivor of breast cancer and am thankful for every day.
ReplyDeleteGod's healing on you! Music is great therapy as you know! Peace.
ReplyDeleteSincerely, Lisa Chandler
Your "'goon" is a fine man and he will take care of you with God's help. I am glad you are relying on Christ for your peace and I certainly thank God that it is isolated. Is Roger singing to you? From: an old Madisonian in Idaho
ReplyDeleteDawn, I don't know if you remember me from Roger's 40th class reunion. Jim and I (Kay Harvey Kratunis) sat at the same table with you for dinner. I also don't know if Roger has mentioned to you that I've been undergoing treatment for Stage 2b breast cancer for the last 8 months. Chemo first (AC and taxol), surgery, and now 33 radiation treatments. What Roger doesn't know is that I had my colon removed when I was 30 due to severe ulcerative colitis. So even though our cancers are different, I have a pretty good idea of what you are facing. The initial weeks after diagnosis and before treatment begins are some of the very hardest.
ReplyDeleteI know you have lots of support. I'm glad you have chosen to be so public about your cancer. It took me about a month or so before I posted about mine on Facebook, but before that I had been telling friends as I saw them or emailing them privately. I'm sure you will also find a lot of on-line support specific to your own cancer which will be quite helpful. You are lucky to be living in the Nashville area too because there is a lot of good medical care there and cancer support. Do you know about Gilda's Club?
I live in Crossville, but have gone to Vanderbilt for all my treatments (except daily radiation). You will be in very good hands medically in Nashville.
If you would like to become Facebook Friends, I'm easy to find.
Wishing you the very best.
Hugs,
Kay
Dawn
ReplyDeleteYou were a blessing to me this AM, as I read your blog. I'm thankful that God is giving you the strength needed to move through this journey. As you continue to praise Him, He will continue to bless you, and those around you. I will be praying for your healing.
Dan
Hope you and Roger can feel all the love and prayers being sent your way. God will walk with you on this journey and see you safely through. Liz
ReplyDelete